Life is like a tornado. Once you get caught up in it, you just spin round and round. You never know what you're going to hit along the way. I'm just a consisitent whirl, spinning out of control. Some things are going well. Other things I could certainly do without. You have to learn to take the bad with the good though.
I have a new kitten. I found him in a dumpster and named him Goober. With this recent addition in my life comes a multitude of arguments however. Some of my family are not in agreement with my decision to keep him. I'm making this decision as an adult. They could never fully understand and it is not my intention to try and make them understand. I need to do what I feel is best for me and that's exactly what I'm doing. I know that in doing so, it means that I need to find a new place to live since my grandparents do not want a cat in their house. It's ok since I had previously made my mind up that I was going to work on moving out of my grandparent's house and get back out on my own. Goober is just the little motivation I really needed to push me that step forward.
I've been searching for a place to live. I know I'm making progress and it's a matter of time before I find a place that seems to suit Goober and myself. My grandma has given me two months to find a place to live and it's frustrating at times because I find myself caught up in the worry that I wont find a place in due time. I know that I need to stomp those worries out of my life though and just press on with the affirmation that I can indeed do it.
The new job seems to be going well. I got a job at Burk & Associates and I really like it so far. It's a little different. I've never been one to really jump at the chance to have an office job. However, I think for now it will be just what I need. The money is definitely a lot better than what I had been seeing from Red Robin. I'm finally moving myself forward in life. I'm putting myself out there to gear towards the sucess that I so desperately desire.
My mom told me she has to put my dog, Cheyanne, to sleep. I'm really bummed because that dog has been a best friend to me for so many glorious years. When I moved to New Mexico and had absolutely no friends, it was Chey that stood by my side. She was such an amazing dog and I know that I'm really going to miss her. I'm losing a best friend to the world... but she will always remain in my heart, always.
Things with Brendan are going really well this time around so far. He made his mind up about the coast guard. He's been thinking about it for a long time now and finally made the decision to join. It's going to be rough. I know it isn't going to be an easy thing for us to go through in our relationship. Trying to maintain a relationship on a long distance term is one of the hardest things for couples and a huge test in the relationship's strength and sucess. I'm excited for him though. When he first started thinking about it way back when... it scared me so much. It still scares me. However... I'm looking at it all in a different light this time around. I know that things are going to be hard. However, I'm willing to walk through it all with him. I'm willing to stick this one out. I have a few things I'm really worried about... but Devon says that there is no profit in worry. It doesn't do anyone the slightest bit of good... so I'm trying not to have those worries chipping away on my shoulders. I'm starting to think that this Coast Guard thing might be a really good idea. It would help him to really grow into the man I know he's destined to be and in a way, it may prove to be a really positive thing in our relationship. They say that "Absense makes the heart grow fonder." We are being blessed with the opportunity to prove that theory. It may be what we need to help strengthen our relationship.
In fact, being apart may be what I need to help myself grow in my relationship with God. I know I want to see Brendan grow as well, but I can't be the decider of that. Only he can make the decision as to when he's going to put his two feet forward and walk towards the cross. I really want to strengthen my relationship with God and that time alone may prove necessary for that needed spiritual growth. I talked a lot with my friend Tim about it the other day. He said that when Devon would bug him about church and God it would just make him irritated with her and not want anything to do with it. It wasn't until she stopped bugging him about it and worked on her own relationship with God that he realized he needed to make a choice. He could either move towards God and still be able to keep Devon, or he'd have to choose the life he had and in doing so lose her. He was faced with that choice ultimately and in the end chose God. He told me that the best thing for me to do is to just continue to try and work on my own self and not push Brendan, but pray instead.
Well, I'm going to end this entry for now. It's been real, but I need to get something to eat. I'm kinda starving.
... until next time...
